SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
