I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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