her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
