DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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