Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize