Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i wish my penis had a tongue
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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