I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
