shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
