Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize