Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
