I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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