i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
