Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
