shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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