i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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