You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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