so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
