I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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