Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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