Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
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The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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