I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
