it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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