so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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