the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
