YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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