the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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