Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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