i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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