i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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