Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
