She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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