she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
