I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
