At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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