the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize