HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
