So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
