wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
