was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
