i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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