She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
