3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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