I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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