i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
