hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
