Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
