so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You did what with his pubic hair?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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