he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she pinky promised me she was 18
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
