my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
