Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
