she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
