You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
