What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
