A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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