Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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