great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
