Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so much tequila, so little girl.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
