please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
