I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
