im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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