Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
